Thursday, August 15, 2013

Transition

We have seen and been through a lot in the last couple of weeks, and there are so many things to share that it's hard to pick what's most important.  I, however, feel that I should be honest and vulnerable here, sharing the good along with my struggles and weaknesses.  Here is a little what transition looks like for us.  For Xavier it's being extremely attached to me after being in childcare during the day.  At night he will only be comforted by me, and I've resorted to letting him sleep with me in order to get a decent amount of sleep.  Before we left I had just started him out on baby food, organic fruits and vegetables only.  Now I am feeding him Heinz baby food with ingredients that I can't read, mashing up steamed sweet potatoes and carrots from the breakfast buffet, and I even resorted to letting him try a french fry.   For Ephraim, his jealousy and insecurity have intensified.  He compares everything, and I mean EVERYTHING.  I ask him to put something in the trash, "Eden didn't have to." He wants one flavor of ice cream, but Eden picked a different one so that's the one he wants now.  While discussing what color to paint their new rooms in the apartment, he wants me to paint a rainbow because that's what Eden wants. Everything I ask him is a battle. For Eden, when she was a baby she never sucked her thumb or had a pacifier, she would play with her belly button and practically rub a scab into it.  She hasn't done that in years, but she has been doing it here.  A few days ago, we had a trying time while using a squatty potty in the mall.  Try to imagine...I had Xavier in the moby wrap attached to my abdomen.  Eden was terrified of peeing on her pants.  She refused to squat over the hole with one foot on each side.  Instead she put both feet on one side and tried to lean over the hole, all the while I'm bending over with Xavier in the Moby trying to hold her pants back so she doesn't pee on them because that's the only way I can get her to use this unrefined toilet.  So, her pants stayed dry, but she managed to pee all over her shoe.  On top of that I forgot tissues because the public toilets here don't carry toilet paper,  so guess how she got dry.  I had to use my dress.  Yep, you read that right.  For me, I tend to be inpatient and critical, which makes it even harder on my kids.  The other day I yelled at Ephraim for being too rough while playing tag in front of a lot of people.  I over-lectured Eden for being too whiny.  I snapped at my husband for things that weren't important enough to remember now.  Two of my children have already been sick, one resulting in a hospital visit.  

   
And it makes a person ask...why would anyone do this to themselves and their family.  Here it is.  As I've been often reminded lately, because where He wants you to be is the best place to be.  Being elsewhere would have different struggles, but there would still be struggles.  Because He loves these people.  Everyday when I'm walking, I look around and think these are the people the Father has called me to love.  Because most of them have never heard of His love, and have never known that hope.  He is faithful, and in the midst of these struggles, there are blessings.  The same day of the potty incident, Eden got to play on a pottery wheel for an hour and make a vase with a heart shaped opening.  If you know Eden, you would know how much she loves art.  Ephraim got to play a video game with giant spiders and roly polys.  We had McDonalds and Starbucks!! While trying to leave the mall, we were waiting for an hour trying to find a taxi, part of that time in the pouring rain.  I had no umbrella, and I was covering sleeping Xavier with my nursing cover.  He heard my concerns, and a hesitant giggling girl tapped me on the shoulder and offered me her umbrella.  I was so thankful that I almost cried.  Transitions are hard, but there is opportunity for so much growth.  My children are gaining great new friends, and growing in character.  I am gaining insight into their hearts that I didn't pay attention to before.  This is an opportunity for new beginnings for our family, and I am looking ahead witeagerness. -Sarah

Showers of blessings:
kindness of strangers
patient people with my lack of language
McDonalds, Starbucks and Papa John's
Eden and Ephraim loving the childcare
Xavier's 2 teeth
16 cent popsicles
where else can you get complimentary sunflower seeds and grass jelly tea with a $2 meal for Jacob 
 and kind Esther bringing us peanut butter after WuMart ran out

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing with brutal honesty. I will commit to being more aware of your desperate need for continuous prayer! For the Kingdom!

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